Wow! It’s been an insane summer for celebrity deaths. The Internet has been buzzing all about the deaths of Walter Kronkite, David Charadine, Ed McMahon, Farah Fawcett, Karl Malden, Frank McCourt, and of course the King Of Pop himself, Michael Jackson. I think this year will probably surprise us with a few more surprises. Here’s my top 10 list of upcoming celebrity deaths:
1. Muhammad Ali – He’s in his mid-sixties now and is fighting Parkinson’s disease for the past 20 years and before that was fighting the best era of heavyweight fighters for a long career (those punches add up). It’s any day now that will lose this great man.
2. Kurt Russell – I know have no real reason to include him on this list but I know it would be a huge shock to people if he did die and that’s why I have to put him in here. Consider him the dark horse in this race.
3. Andy Rooney – Fuck he’s old and nobody likes him. It’s any day now.
4. Joy Behar – She’s older and it would be a shock but yet plausible if she went.
5. Lisa Ling’s sister – This chick has been captured in North Korea and has to work in a labor camp. Do you really want to bet against this?
6. Patrick Swayze – He’s had an uphill battle with cancer for the last year. I’d hate to see him go but he looked awful in recent tabloid photos. The odds are against him.
7. Tina Fey – She killed Sarah Palin’s political career with her brilliant SNL impersonation and wouldn’t be surprised if some crazed Alaskan seeks vengeance.
8. Michael Keaton – People haven’t heard from him in a while but would be shocked because it probably would have been a freak accident in his house while trying to fix something. People will talk of the Batman movies and celeb friends would be all over Larry King’s show talking about how great he was and glad that he never went the Christian Bale route with his stupid raspy Batman voice. The Beetlejuice sequel we all wanted will never be made.
9. Steve Jobs – I’d really really really hate to see him go but come on, the people at Apple are doing everything to keep his health top secret. Its any day now. Sorry my fellow Mac lovers.
10. James Earl Jones – The voice of Darth Vader and CNN fame is a solid bet. CNN will change its name to the JEJ News Network for the day and replay his sound bites all week.
Ok, I’m sure the hate mail will swarm in like a tidal wave but people are obsessed with celebrity deaths and the media love saturate it to the point of gluttony. It’s a sickness that we all love to hate.
No comments:
Post a Comment