Exhibit A: Franky Got Fingered

It's been pouring rain all day here in Miami which ruins my favorite day of the week when I should be out getting skin cancer and checking out at girls by my pool.  The sky is pale gray and the clouds are navy colored.  The weather looks like one of those disaster films where Morgan Freeman is going to save humanity. This day reminds me of when the nuns at my junior high would warn me that God was angry at the children for masturbating.  The ninjas are killing kittens!

I've been in a coma-like state today and enjoying it but I have to start getting ready soon because I have to be at two engagement parties today.  Yes, two of them.  Why do people invite me to this shit anyways?  It's a good thing that open bars exist. It's going to be a long day being with peers that are becoming adults and I'm pretty sure I've only been invited to be shown as an example to show their fiances, future in-laws, co-workers, the fiance's friends and of course their own parents to show as retarded as they might be, they are nothing like yours truly. It's all good.  I'll the play the part of the guy that doesn't have his act together and everybody will feel better about themselves.  People will also come up to me today asking about my stand-up career (also, what my parents think of it too) then say they read my blogs and updates on facebook/twitter.  I'll also get asked when can they come to my next show then put the date in their BlackBerry but then not show up.  Some will praise me, others will say I'm sick in the head and the others will say I have too much time on my hands.  My answer to all of them is that I know they read my bullshit all fucking day.  How much time do they have on their hands if all they do is read what I post?  People love to point fingers and I've endured that for a while being the one that gets fingered.  So now, I'm off to take a long shower then get dressed up and go to back to back parties while I get shitfaced and hopefully laid.

Happy Saturday!