Mark McGwire

Can Mark McGwire just go away already? It's beyond awful having to watch him explain himself to the media about how and why he took steroids. He says he took it in the off season in 1993 until 1998 but we all know it's bullshit. We wouldn't have the infamous "Bash Brothers" of the late 1980's if there wasn't a Mr. Jose Canseco and a little thing called steroids involved. Canseco has mentioned in the past how they would work out together and shoot up in the stalls of their stadium in Oakland. It's a bond that's hard to break. I never used steroids myself but I have plenty of friends that have and all they say the best way to do it is in the buddy system just like in scuba diving. You have your buddy to spot you when you bench press at the gym and then you have your buddy spotting your ass in the bathroom later on. There's no way Canseco did it alone and nobody in 1988 looked more roided than McQwire. If anything, McQwire is the godfather of steroids in the modern-age of the MLB. Yes, Canseco introduced McQwire's ass cheeks to the needle that would make him big and strong but nobody made the juice cooler than Mack Daddy McQwire.

Obviously, McQwire's talents and abilities got him to the pros but the roids helped him break the home-run records. At this point, it doesn't matter who juiced because everybody has at this point in the pros. Yes, steroids transformed these jocks into monsters that break records but at the same time the playing level has been even the last 20 years or so because everybody is cheating which should count for something. Plenty of guys have roided but still haven't broken any significant records or even catch escape that hell they call the minor leagues. Having big muscles doesn't guarantee hitting home-runs but include that with hand-eye coordination with some skills and history gets made. Barry Bonds was able to prolong his career into two chapters because of steroids. Act One he was the complete player on defense and offense. Act Two was that of a roid monster that crushed the ball that soared the ball into the shark infested waters of the San Francisco Bay. McQwire can say he took steroids so he can recover during the long seasons (which I've heard it does help) but let's face it, he wanted to break home-run records and become a legend. Everybody loves a hero. He broke them and made millions for it. Good for him. It was beyond obvious even for Stevie Wonder to see that the guy was juiced up to his neck in the summer of 1998. He lied and the general public just didn't care. There was that "Andro" talk because his people tried to make it sound more like Diet-Roids than anything else. People love to see big guys smack small objects and then watch them fly far out in the stands for some dweeb to catch then sell on e-Bay. It's fun and makes a boring sport like baseball more enjoyable for all.

I think this whole media sensationalism towards steroids in sports is overblown. Everybody has and is doing steroids. I'm not saying it's right but it's been here for a while and probably won't go away (Bud Selig has got to be the softest commissioner in all of pro sports). Hackjobs like Jeremy Scaap will whine all night on E:60 because even if he juiced up, he'd still be a tiny dweeb that couldn't do a single push-up. The last thing this country needs is having a bunch of washed up jocks testify to the US Congress about who's on the juice or who may be. The spectacle of having to watch a bunch of dumb jocks flip on each other like lame mob informants was sad and pathetic to say the least. It was a painful year in 2005 to see Mark McQwire act all innocent in our nation's capital lying while his horrific roid acne covered his throat like some bad acid attack that resembles Liam Neeson's character in Darkman. Now it's 2010 and McQwire is back trying to salvage his damaged reputation so he can get into the HOF in due time. It's a mess and his PR team is doing a lousy job keeping their guy in the clear. It's five years too late to come clean. He had his chance to get his wrist slapped but now he's asking too much by asking the general public to suspend their disbelief by thinking he did it to cure his pain from the injuries he's racked up. Who the fuck is advising him? This is beyond amateur hour in the PR business. They can all do us a favor and just disappear into their own black hole of self-loathing.